malkiewicz:

I’m going to open up a movie theater that only sells lettuce instead of popcorn. Lettuce and lukewarm carrot juice, like it’s been sitting in a glass out by the pool all day during august

tkyle:

me accepting the ice bucket challenge

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you

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kanyewestevil:

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS

toocooltobehipster:

reason for divorce: i asked them what’s up and they said the sky

dokibots:

haha! have fun at highschool today NERDS. i’m gonna be doing cool ADULT stuff like sleeping WHENEVER i want and CRYING 

yellowcrayolacrayon:

This Man.